|First appearance:||Deez Nups|
|Last appearance:||Deez Nups|
Stumpy was someone Lassiter grew up with. He was the only member of the anti-Glee club that would show up to the meetings other than Lassiter. He was Lassiter's best man at his wedding to Marlowe Viccellio because Lassiter couldn't think of anyone he was close to. He is portrayed by Pete Gardner.
In "Deez Nups", Stumpy appears as Lassiter's best friend and best man at his wedding. He is very rude and conceited, and Shawn and Gus find it hard to believe that he is Lassiter's best friend. When they confront Carlton about it, he shamefully tells them that Stumpy isn't his best friend - he was the only member of his high school anti-Glee club that bothered to show up to any meetings. Lassiter only invited him to the wedding because he had no real best friend, and did not want to say so in front of Shawn and Gus, who were clearly the best of friends. Stumpy is shown getting pooped on by a bird later during the wedding ceremony.
In "The Devil's in the Details... and the Upstairs Bedroom", Shawn mentions a mutual grade school friend to Gus, also known as Stumpy. Equally he doesn't sound like a real friend, based on the exaggerated, and apparently unmerited, British accent Shawn inflicts on him when quoting.