- "So why don't you take this rap sheet back to Chuck E. Cheese, man, because the only thing you're gonna get in here is curbed for a Chicago smile and..."
- — This is how far Darryl gets before he can go no further
Darryl Jablonsky is an inmate serving five years at the state prison whom Lassiter wants to use to scare juvenile delinquent JJ straight. He asks JJ to call him "Hell on Earth" and starts talking aggressively, so JJ is understandably quite intimidated. However, Darryl suddenly stops and says he "just can't do this now." JJ takes heart and asks him why, to which he replies that he wants to take Dr. Shenkman's advice and not go against his rehabilitation by lying. Now that the ice is broken, JJ wants to know what life is really like in prison and Darryl's response frustrates Lassiter to no end. He says that he hangs out with his friend White Slavery most of the time and that they usually work out, visit the library, play ball or just chit-chat. He is quite content with this life and tells JJ that it's "good living out here," so in a last-ditch effort Lassiter calls the guards "merciless." Darryl denies this and calls them "pretty cool," even adding that the inmates and guards will be celebrating a guard's birthday together later that day. He then enthusiastically says that he works as a telemarketer from prison and was the "best seller of this month." Once Darryl tells JJ that he will "have a blast" in prison, Lassiter has seen enough and leads the relaxed JJ away. He tells Darryl that he "can kiss that recommendation at your next parole board hearing sayonara," but Darryl replies that he doesn't mind because he's heard that they're "getting a frappuccino machine next month."
Trivia[]
- He enjoyed listening to the CD audiobook version of The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen (read by Robert Forster), which is often considered one of the Great American Novels.